Introduction
In this day and age, we are inundated with dating advice. You probably know that being “friendzoned” is a term used to describe when someone feels rejected romantically by another person, but what you may not realize is that it’s actually more complex than that. Not only does it imply that the person in question doesn’t have feelings for you at all, but it also assumes that her feelings are unrequited as well.
She’s not ready to date.
It’s possible that your crush is in the friend zone because she just isn’t ready to date. She may be too busy with school or work, she may be in the middle of a breakup, or she could be dealing with family issues at home that require her attention. It could also be that she doesn’t feel ready for a relationship yet and would rather focus on herself for now.
If you suspect this might be the case (and if it is), then there are things you can do to help yourself out of this situation: don’t push her into dating you when she doesn’t want to; give her space when she needs it; try not being so jealous whenever other guys talk to her; don’t try asking out every girl who walks by because chances are high that one day soon enough they’ll get tired of hearing “no thanks.”
You’re too nice.
You’re too nice.
You may be a great guy, but it’s possible that your woman friend is simply not ready for a relationship. If she doesn’t want to hurt your feelings by saying no, she may put off any romantic advances until she feels more sure of herself or her own feelings toward you. She also might not want to ruin what’s already there–a friendship that could be ruined if things went sour between the two of you in the future. If you’re wondering why she friendzoned you, it could be due to a lack of romantic chemistry, timing, or simply not meeting her criteria for a romantic partner.
She doesn’t feel comfortable around you.
If she doesn’t feel comfortable around you, it’s because of the way that you interact with her. She may think that:
- You are too needy and dependent on her for emotional support or validation (e.g., “I can’t get through this without her”).
- You are clingy and emotionally invested in the relationship (e.g., “It makes me so happy when she texts me.”)
- Your behavior makes it seem like all your happiness depends on whether or not she wants to date you (e.g., “He was really upset when I told him I didn’t want to go out with him.”)
You aren’t attractive to her.
The first reason she put you in the friend zone is because she’s not attracted to you physically. This can be hard to understand, especially if you think of yourself as an average-looking guy and have never had any complaints about your appearance. But let me tell you something: the world is full of beautiful women, and one way or another they’ll find a way to date men who are more attractive than you are. If someone has never said anything negative about your looks before, it doesn’t necessarily mean they’re attracted to them; it just means that they haven’t had any reason yet (or perhaps ever) felt compelled enough by something else about your personality or character that would make her want him over another guy who might be better looking than him in some ways but not others…
She has commitment issues.
She may have had a bad experience in the past. Maybe she got her heart broken, or her ex cheated on her, or something else happened that made it so she doesn’t want to go through it again.
She could be scared of getting hurt again. This is especially true if she’s experienced a lot of pain and hurt in her life already (e.g., growing up with an abusive parent). Maybe she doesn’t want to feel those emotions again because they’re too much for her to handle at this point in time, so instead of facing them head-on by dating someone new–and possibly falling in love–she would rather just keep things casual with you as friends instead. And even though this seems like an easy way out for your friend who has been friendzoned by some girl he likes…it still sucks!
She fears something will change.
If she fears that you will lose respect for her, or if your friendship will suffer because of the relationship, it can be hard to get over the friend zone.
If your girlfriend puts you in the friend zone, ask yourself these questions:
- Do I really want this girl? If so, why? What’s so special about her? How does she make me feel when we’re together–happy or sad? Does she make me feel confident about myself and my life goals (or not)? Is there something else going on here that I need to pay attention to before making any decisions about pursuing other women who aren’t currently interested in me romantically but may become interested someday down the road if given some time alone together outside of our current relationship status as friends (i.e., dating others).
You can’t read too much into whether or not she is friendzoned you — it is about her comfort level with you, not your worth as a human being or what she thinks about your romanticization of the relationship
Friendzoning is a term that gets thrown around a lot, but it doesn’t actually have much meaning. It’s just a label people use to describe any relationship that isn’t romantic but could be if one or both parties wanted it to be. For example, “I friendzone my friends all the time!” might be something someone says when they hang out with their buddy for dinner and then send them home afterward because they want some alone time with their partner–or maybe even just to watch Netflix alone in bed!
Friendzoning can be good for you if you’re not ready for dating yet (or ever). If this sounds like your situation — or even if it doesn’t — here are some tips on how best go about navigating this friend-zone situation without getting hurt:
Conclusion
You can’t read too much into whether or not she is friendzoned you — it is about her comfort level with you, not your worth as a human being or what she thinks about your romanticization of the relationship. The only way to change this situation is by taking action, which means making sure that you are dating other people and showing her that there are other options out there for her if things don’t work out between the two of you.
Author bio
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